The Thirteen Doctors
by Lucillia
Summary: A dying Master finds himself in the Time Scoop control room during The Five Doctors and decides to play around a bit. The end result is a Death Zone filled with twelve Doctors, several companions, two Masters, Cybermen, Daleks, a truck driver and a duck.


The Master patted himself down, unable to believe that he wasn't dead. Not only that, but from the taste of the air he could tell he was on Gallifrey. He was on Gallifrey in a room that seemed oddly familiar. If he remembered correctly, this looked a great deal like the room that had concealed the Time Scoop that had once gathered a few regenerations of his best enemy and greatest rival, the Doctor and dumped them in the Death Zone, forcing them to play the Game of Rassilon. He'd sneaked in to take a good look at the place shortly before it was disassembled after the Doctor's Fifth incarnation had fled the presidency, leaving it open for that bastard Rassilon to take at a later date, that bastard Rassilon who had sent the drums back to drive him insane.

Looking down at the gaming table in the middle of the dark room, he saw the game pieces representing four of the first five of the Doctor's incarnations, a couple of the Doctor's companions, himself when he used to run around looking like a villain from the sort of low budget Sci-fi movie that had trash can lids standing in for UFOs, some Daleks, some Cybermen, and a Yeti. On the screen to his left was the image representing the Doctor's fourth incarnation who was stuck in the void between Cambridge and here. The setup was exactly like that of the game President Borusa set up before he ended up decorating Rassilon's "tomb".

Having learned the workings of the Time Scoop better than any currently living on Gallifrey - more out of curiosity than anything - he could think of several ways of ruining Borusa's little game and giving that asshat Rassilon a very bad day.

Smirking at the thought of ruining both Borusa and Rassilon's week, he did what several Time Lords including Borusa couldn't do, and sent the Doctor's Fourth incarnation into the Death Zone. This was only the first part of the plan he had come up with on the fly. He would need to leave one of the Doctor's incarnations out in the universe, but it wouldn't be the Fourth. The Fourth had Jelly Babies. He liked Jelly Babies and he was so very hungry...

The Fifth incarnation of the Doctor was the one of the present, as much as there could be a "present" for a group of time travelers. The Doctor who insisted on wearing that ridiculous outfit with that piece of celery pinned to his lapel had centuries before he became the Doctor he had just faced moments before, the Doctor who had spared him apparently at the request of his granddaughter Susan - who had gone to fight in the Time War and somehow ended up on the council and later disgraced after her husband and children had died of old age - and shot the machinery that was calling Gallifrey forth from the void at the cost of the Doctor's favorite planet instead, the Doctor whose life he saved when he finally thought it was the end. The end was coming and very soon, but there was still time to ruin Borusa's game just for the hell of it, time to see the one who was both friend and enemy one last time.

* * *

The Doctor ignored the stares of the passerby as he chucked the hard and slightly moldy bread at the ducks. He lived in a freaking time machine, and his bread somehow still managed to go stale. Feeding it to the ducks or other small animals was the best way of disposing it since it technically didn't go to waste if something ate it.

So what if his outfit was highly unusual even for the last days of the Twentieth Century, it was his and he wasn't about to change it for anybody.

About a second after a rather crusty piece of bread whacked a particularly greedy duck in the head, he saw something he thought he wouldn't see again after the former President Borusa had been dealt with. He turned to run, but the cyclonic void of the Time Scoop swallowed him before he could get more than a few steps away.

When he caught his bearings again after the Time Scoop dumped him in the Death Zone once again, he wondered what he should do with the duck that had been brought with him.

* * *

The Docter adjusted his question mark covered swim trunks after he pulled himself out of the swimming pool and turned to head back to the diving board. It was a rather nice swimming pool, but not quite as nice as the one he had aboard the TARDIS. After a great deal of tweaking, the pool aboard the TARDIS was almost perfect. The only problem was that its proximity to the library was a little iffy. Should the TARDIS crash and fall to the right, his paper books would be in serious danger of water damage. He would have to move the pool at a later time.

As he climbed the ladder to the high dive, he saw something he could have sworn he'd never see again. He raced the rest of the way up the ladder, ran down the length of the diving board faster than what was safe, and leapt off the end.

The Time Scoop caught him.

The Time Scoop released him.

He landed in a rather murky pond with a rather loud splash.

* * *

The Doctor looked around himself wondering what the hell he was doing in this strangely desolate area that rather closely resembled the desert outside of Las Vegas, why he had a massive headache, and why the hell he was naked. It looked like he was suffering from amnesia again, but fortunately it seemed that only a few hours and the current location of the TARDIS were all that was missing this time.

When the inverted tornado appeared out of thin air, he wondered why it seemed so familiar. He didn't even move as the Time Scoop moved in to capture him.

Soon, he found himself in what looked to be either the English countryside or the Death Zone on Gallifrey rather than the desert that may or may not have been outside of Las Vegas. He was still naked.

* * *

The Doctor went up to the roof to join Rose. Rose's mother had been looking as if she would like nothing better than to kill him. It wasn't his fault that he'd accidentally misread the chronometer on the TARDIS, mistook twelve months for twelve hours, failed to get his companion back to the proper time, and could no longer do so without risking a world ending paradox. He was still getting used to the TARDIS's new control configuration.

As he and Rose watched the UFO crash into Big Ben, the Time Scoop swooped up behind them completely unnoticed.

* * *

The Doctor had gone to Hawaii before all of the tourists and the pollution in an effort to cheer himself up. It had worked several times before. It was really hard to be depressed while one is under such a bright clear sky and near such beautiful water. There was even sand to get stuck in uncomfortable places and distract you from the larger problems like the fact that you were alone, and that you hated being alone.

It wasn't working now, however.

The upside down water-spout of the Time Scoop was almost a welcome sight to the Doctor. Soon, there would be something else to distract him from his misery, something he may or may not come back from.

* * *

Martha and Mickey Smith were headed into the building they had been approaching when they saw the Doctor standing on an overhead walkway looking down at them sadly. It was as they neared the door that a strange swirling vortex swooped in and scooped the both of them up.

* * *

As the Doctor watched the stars from aboard the Starship UK and thought out what he was going to say to Amy about her actions, he saw something both incredibly familiar and totally impossible approaching him. How the hell had the Time Scoop been able to reach him here?

Oh, wait a second, Time Scoop, key word being Time, duh.

A better question would be why would someone from the now long dead Gallifrey be trying to pull him back?

The death of Gallifrey was locked in time, and there was nothing that could be done to prevent it even if he was dragged back to a point hundreds of years before his homeworld's demise took place. He wouldn't even try to prevent it, because if he did the Daleks and several other evils would return and ravage the universe, making the sacrifice of the Time Lords completely meaningless.

Amy Pond panicked for about half a minute when her Doctor was whisked away by a small upside-down tornado, and then she suddenly blinked, muttered "Oh right, the Time Scoop.", and walked back to the TARDIS to wait for her Raggedy Doctor once more.

* * *

Little Amelia Pond had been sitting for hours waiting for the Doctor's "five minutes" to be up. As the sun was rising, something else approached from the East.

* * *

The Master sat in the Time Scoop's control room in something of a quandary. After tracking down the Doctor's Twelfth and Thirteenth incarnations - which should be the final two unless the Doctor managed to escape death once again, which he couldn't really be bothered to find out considering how hard finding Eleven was - with much difficulty, he had to chose one to replace the Fourth incarnation in the void. Still being slightly evil and a bit upset at the Doctor for not only foiling just about every plot of his, but also not believing him about the drums, he had decided to bring the one that would be the most psychologically damaging of the two into the Death Zone and leaving the other in the void. On the one hand, the Twelfth was covered in acne, and had a rather squeaky voice. But, on the other, the Thirteenth was...

Wait? What the hell was he quibbling over again?! The Twelfth was staying in the void.

* * *

The Doctor grumbled as he/she adjusted the bra Angie had given him/her. Things had been rather awkward since his/her latest regeneration a week ago after his/her last incarnation had gone sailing headfirst over the edge of a cliff and he/she had woken up to discover that he/she had fully functioning sets of both male and female reproductive organs and a pair of rather large breasts. Fortunately, his companion Angie was from Jack Harkness' era and both wasn't bothered by what had happened, and was far to old to desire any "experimentation". The fact that Angie was a licensed therapist was a bonus as well, considering the fact that he/she had tried to jump off the cliff again right after he/she had finished examining him/herself in the infirmary. The moron Richie had managed to stop him/her in time.

Every day, he/she had to find one positive thing about his/her new form. Yesterday's was that he/she had a better rack than Rose. But, then again, lots of people had a better rack than Rose. One good thing about what could be his/her final regeneration was that he/she was finally a ginger. One bad thing was that he/she would have to avoid certain areas and centuries if he/she wanted to avoid certain questions like "What the hell are you doing peeing standing up?" and "You know this is the Men's room, right?"

After dressing in an outfit that was relatively gender neutral - namely jeans and a t-shirt with something humans would consider witty printed on it - the Doctor stepped from the TARDIS that had accidentally been turned into a Porta-Potty by Richie the moron who had been promptly ditched back in his own era despite having rather faithfully followed both his/her Eleventh and Twelfth incarnations for about a century. Turning his/her beloved TARDIS back into a Police Box was his/her first priority, and so far he/she had failed at every attempt. He/she would need to make another attempt later though, because he/she needed to go into town for certain supplies for the first time in his/her entire life.

He/she hadn't gone more than two paces before he/she was sucked up by the Time Scoop.

* * *

The Master smiled. Everyone was in position, let the games begin.

The Master frowned when something occurred to him. The Doctor's Fourth incarnation couldn't possibly have more than a pound of Jelly Babies on him. He wanted lots and lots of Jelly Babies though. He wanted at least ten pounds, maybe even a hundred, a ton would probably be better. He was so very hungry...

* * *

Arthur Gallagher had been driving for Cadbury for ten years, and in that time, nothing remotely like this had happened before. He had been carrying a shipment of Jelly Babies from the factory when this strange swirling thing swooped out of the sky and swallowed the truck. When the spinning stopped, he had found himself and the truck on a run down road in the middle of nowhere.

* * *

_Now, let the games begin_ the Master thought as he waited for the Council room to empty so he could get to the teleport.


End file.
